


All We See is Sky, For Forever

by ShinSeul



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) Actor RPF
Genre: An Open Wound, Angst, Family, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22897417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinSeul/pseuds/ShinSeul
Summary: Connor Murphy had every chance to crumple and throw Evan Hansen's letter away, but why didn't he?
Relationships: Connor Murphy & Cynthia Murphy, Connor Murphy & Larry Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	All We See is Sky, For Forever

“…so that you could tell everybody that I’m crazy. Right?!”

Shoving him out of the way, his feet stormed off through the open field miles away from his school building, a contrasting atmosphere form the busy hallways that every student made way when he was approaching, Connor sat down under the shade of tree, trying to pacify his temper as the breeze tried to sway his anger away as much as his hair were that mid-afternoon. 

_He’s not crazy, right?_  
_And no one saw that in the library right?_  
_No one saw how much of a mess he is.._  
_No one saw how he freaked out and basically ran away, right?_  
_His running pace isn’t weird, right?_

He thought.. this was going to be a good day.. Something refreshing from middle school. He could just say goodbye to that old lifestyle and play-pretend, at least, to try and get better…

 _Why does it have to be Zoe?_  
_Well, Zoe is his sister and as her brother… you only wish to protect and keep your sister safe from creeps like him, right?_  
_To think her brother would call him a friend.. or play-pretend they were._

“Maybe you are just overthinking this, Connor” he muttered under his breath, tilting his head for his eyes to look at the leaves that organically spawned from the sturdy old branch. “I mean, look at that guy. Him getting a cast is the saddest f*cking thing you ever heard. He fell,” he scoffed, “he fell on a tree… just like this one..”

With his fingers grooming strands of his hair behind his ear, the other was occupied still with the printed creep story the boy with a blue shirt was writing, much to his surprise. Why hasn’t he let it go? Crumpled it and threw it by the nearest bin at the library?

 _Because maybe.. there’s a part of him that is curious.._  
_Maybe.. there’s a part of him that felt like.. he wasn’t alone..?_

‘That’s just f*cking stupid, Connor..” Another scoff leaving his lips, “that loser and a creep.. relating to you?”

“You must be so desperate...”

“I must be that desperate..” 

_Screw it._ His mind pondered. What harm’s there going to be if he’ll just read what was written? He’ll just throw it away and continue on…

**“Dear Evan Hansen,**

**Turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all, umm.. this isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year because.. because why would it be?”**

_Yeah.. why would it be? This school has nothing new to offer.._  
_Life has nothing new to offer.. parents fighting every night.._  
_Little petty things such as what’s for dinner turning into a whole chaotic scene in the house._  
_And where would they redirect their anger?_  
_To him.. It has always been to him.._

Connor looked up again, seeing the rays trying their earnest to reach his face as the leaves sheltered him. If only his parents were this.. caring..

“You’re just being dramatic, Connor..”

Looking down, his mind was overwhelmed with hos his father would argue with his own mental health. How everything is just an excuse because he is taking everything for granted. The baseball glove he used to wish every Christmas.. he just wasted it all..  
And maybe he did..  
Maybe he took everything for granted. Became the son they despised having.. 

_And Zoe…_

**“I know there’s Zoe and all my hope is gone-zo and you wouldn’t even know, she doesn’t know me but maybe I just talk to her then maybe.. maybe nothing will be different at all…”**

“How is it that he knows so little of me.. yet know so much of me..”

It was this part of the letter did tears come streaming down.. Zoe and he had a wonderful childhood. He could still remember how she would answer those teen magazines he would buy for her.. How she would scribble on her pants when bored.. 

How did they get here? 

_How did he become a monster to her?_  
_And if…_  
_And if I go away… would she light a candle for me?_  
_Or even say something for me..?_  
_She might even like it that I was gone.  
_Her tormentor and villain of the story.. gone.__

__

__

“Just what are you thinking about, Connor.. You’re making yourself more and more of a loser in front of everybody for showing emotions..”

Reaching out to his pockets, his fingers could sense the child-proof cap twisting to no end, as his eyes tried to calm themselves, gaining clear vision to the letter’s last paragraph;

**“…I wish everything will be different. I wish I was a part of something.. I wish that umm.. anything I said matter to anyone. Let’s face it, no one would notice if I just.. disappear tomorrow.“**

_Disappear.._

“Sincerely yours and best dearest friend,  
Me.” Connor concluded, feeling like his thoughts were all written out on a computer lab’s printer. With his lips flashing a smile, maybe he did get a friend after all. He had someone he could relate to, even just for a minute that took him to sign the boy’s cast.

 _What was his name again?_  
Evan Hansen.

He must admit the letter got into him pretty good for a creeper to do so. Yet..  
He had already set his mind, after all.  
It was nice to have someone to relate to..  
But it wasn’t enough to dug him out of his own grave.

Folding the letter neatly before letting it rest by his pocket, the child-proof cap soon touched his fingers. Rough and reminding him for what’s to be done today as he took this moment to look up again at the clear sky.

“Thank you, Evan Hansen, my friend.."

**Author's Note:**

> I am truly aware how late I am in composing a short story or drabble about Connor and Evan's relationship, per say.  
> It just crossed my mind why was Evan's letter neatly folded on his black jacket. And I thought this could be an opportunity to at least spend more time with Connor.  
> Anyways, hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it!~
> 
> I do appreciate having some comments and interact with you all so, hope you'll leave one!~


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